Games We Play
by yellowhorde
Summary: 5x1 There is a slight misunderstanding between Wufei and Heero...will true love overcome or shall they go their seperate ways. Feel free to RR!


Hi, Kai! I have finally finished this story for your Heero's Uke contest. I am SUCH a procrastinator! Sorry it took so long!

Disclaimer: No, sadly, they do not belong to me. My stories are all written to feed my ongoing obsession, so please don't sue! I am just a poor church mouse...

Pairings: 5x1 and 3+4 

Category: Angst

Warnings: Yaoi. Mild violence and language, lime. Since Heero is supposed to be the Uke in this story, it would be safe to say that this story is OOC. grin

Rating: R for the above-mentioned things

Summary: There is a small misunderstanding between Heero and Wufei. Will love triumph or fall to the wayside? 

Title: Games We Play

Author: yellowhorde

Thanks go out to Banshee for beta reading this story and for giving many helpful suggestions. 

GAMES WE PLAY

The room was blanketed in darkness and only the soft sounds of sleep could be heard from within. A mild breeze slipped in through the window, gently fluttering the white curtains and carrying with it the warmth of the night, the heavenly perfume of roses. Outside, a multitude of nocturnal sounds- from the gentle, surf like swishing of the wind playing its invisible fingers through the leaf laden trees, to crickets chirping in time to their own mysterious beat- blended smoothly together as one miraculous summer symphony while fireflies danced and flickered with utter joy and abandon to its pulsating rhythm. It was a breathtaking song of life, the magical music of the night. 

An ornately carved oak four-poster bed took up most of the available floor space of that small room. Above the jumbled confusion of arms and legs, two clear blue orbs fluttered open and gazed around the night-shrouded interior, glittering softly in the dim light. The owner of those magnificent eyes stretched languidly, the smooth silken sheets rustling down into his lap revealing a very bare, very muscular torso. 

With a contented sigh, Heero snuggled closer into the warmth beside him that was his lover. Resting his head in the hollow of the gently bronzed shoulder, the tousle haired youth's hand idly traced spiraling circles on the smooth, perfect flesh of his love's chest, descending slowly yet steadily lower towards the flat abdomen and beyond. He smiled faintly as goose bumps rose and danced along that skin with its delicate bouquet of sweat intermixed with the lingering musk of their previous love play. Under Heero's gentle yet skilled ministrations the body of his friend and lover reacted instinctively, various muscles contracting and hardening. 

The smile on Heero's face intensified at Wufei's unconscious response. A mischievous glint warmed his Prussian blue eyes, setting them aglow with wicked anticipation. With a shifting of his position, he lowered his face towards his prized treasure, the one person on earth he had surrendered himself up to completely, heart, body, and soul. His soft, pink tongue flicked out against the warm erect flesh, quick as any cat's tongue teasing, tasting. Once, twice, a third time, a fourth. This action was greeted by a soft hissing intake of breath. Encouraged, Heero then took the rigid member into the moist warmth of his mouth, suckling softly. A quiet moan drifted past pale lips, yet Wufei did not awaken. 

After a few moments of loving attention, Wufei's head was tossing gently back and forth against the pillow, ebony hair fanning out smoothly in sharp contrast to the stark whiteness of the casing, his breath coming in shallow gasps. Heero lifted his head slowly, eyes brimming with love and adoration, and leaned forward to lay claim to the sweet nectar of soft lips. However, just as he was about to take possession of said lips, Wufei half murmured, half sighed out a name in tones of painful longing. The Japanese youth froze for a brief moment, hurt plainly evident on his face, in the incredible tension thrumming along the smooth contours of his body. His heart squeezing painfully in his chest as suddenly he felt tiny pinpricks in the back of his eyes that threatened, promised tears. Again that name, called out so softly, uttered as if in prayer. 

It was not Heero's name.

*****

With a dejected sigh, the youth tore his gaze away from the window in front of him. The outside world was warm and inviting as the sun cast its golden rays down upon the earth. The more insistent, almost unbearably intense heat of the afternoon had faded somewhat as the burning ball in the sky had passed its zenith and continued its lazy descent towards the patiently waiting horizon. A cooling breeze had sprung up and was now dancing happily through the canopy of leaves overhead.

The wind did have a voice, Heero knew. It could shriek like a banshee. It would, as the occasion warrant, whoop, holler and howl like a beast possessed or murmur like a mother singing softly to her infant. Today it almost seemed like the wind was laughing, a gentle, melodious sound as it pranced and cavorted with the boundless energy of life, every once in a while plucking up tiny leaves and send them spinning through the air. 

(The wind can laugh... it can be happy... why can't I?) 

Memories swirled around his mind, unbidden, memories of cool piercing eyes as dark as the midnight skies, eyes filled with love and longing, but those recollections were pushed aside roughly. Invisible fingers seemed to run down the Heero's flesh, knowing digits that delivered phantom waves of delicious pleasures, pleasures not felt for some time. Heat washed over the boy at the lingering sensual aftershocks from distant nights of gratification. Oh, gods, it had been so long since he had been held in those strong arms, been kissed by those soft lips, seen the love in those ebony pools... 

Heero shook his head angrily, dismissing the unwanted sensations that had taken momentary control of his young body, yet the aching need once awakened was not to be banished so easily. 

(Snap out of it, Yuy. He doesn't love you. Not really. It's over between us. You were a fool once, but not again. Not again...) 

Turning his mind back to Quatre's sunny kitchen and the task at hand, Heero plunged one sudsy -laced arm once more into the steaming dishwater, the tip of his pink tongue poking delicately out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on his search. Long fingers groped blindly for the stray dinner utensil he knew lay hidden somewhere along the bottom of the stainless steel sink. If only he could find it... It shouldn't be THAT hard to find. It was just a sink after all, not the Pacific Ocean, not the Bermuda Triangle, just your average, run of the mill kitchen sink. He would have to come across it eventually...

A thin line of pain lanced through Heero's index finger as he came into unwitting contact with the sharp kitchen knife that had so long eluded his grasp. Hissing sharply, the boy gripped the offending object and withdrew it from the soapy water with a narrow eyed grin of victory, scrubbed it clean with brisk efficient motions then dumped it unceremoniously into the clean rinse water along with the other dishes. 

Reaching back into the soapy water Heero pulled the plug and watched with almost mindless fascination as the water swirled and was quickly sucked down the drain with a series of glug-glugs and then finally the awful slurping sounds that always came when the last of the water was pulled down the drain into the darkness beyond. That sound always managed to creep him out. He didn't know why, it just did. It was almost like some monster was lurking somewhere down there in eager anticipation, waiting for an opportunity to snatch up some unwary soul...

Heero glanced down at his finger, where tiny rivulets of crimson trailed along wet flesh. It wasn't serious, just a small scratch, really. It would heal in no time at all. Absently the dark haired youngster went to fetch a band-aid all the while sucking on the wounded digit, the rich coppery tang of his own blood warm in his mouth. The insignificant cut would not even leave a scar. The human body's capacity to heal itself was truly amazing. But could it heal a broken heart as easily as this tiny wound? That remained to be seen. 

***** 

The platinum blond Arabian entered the kitchen struggling with two very full grocery bags. Trowa shadowed his petite lover, carrying identical brown paper bags in his long arms. Seeing that Quatre was on the verge of dropping one of the heavily laden sacks, Heero, who had been diligently drying and putting away the sparkling clean dishes, rushed forward to offer his assistance just in time to save an entire carton of eggs from plunging to almost certain death against the linoleum tile. 

"Jeez, are you guys planning on feeding the entire OZ army, or are you just stocking up for Duo's next visit?" Heero asked as he surveyed the food-laden table with nothing short of pure astonishment. 

Quatre grinned as he began putting away the perishables while Trowa silently busied himself with the canned and dried goods. The two worked smoothly side-by-side, opening and closing cabinets, stepping easily around each other as they preformed a seemingly choreographed dance within the small confines of the kitchen/dining room. It was truly a wonder to behold. The two lovers, one dark and tall, the other fair and petite, knew each other so well; it was almost like they shared a telepathic link. Frankly, Heero was just a tad bit jealous and feeling very much like the fifth wheel. 

"Actually, Heero," Quatre said as he stuck his head into the well stocked refrigerator to deposit a head of lettuce and a few beautifully ripened tomatoes, "we are having a small get together this evening. No special reason, just a casual thing with a few friends. Would you care to join us?" 

Heero nibbled on his bottom lip as he considered the invitation. "Oh, I don't know... I mean I'm not really up to a party..." 

"Nonsense!" Quatre interrupted, waving one slender hand in the air as he straightened up and shut the refrigerator door. "It's not a PARTY, just a bunch of the guys getting together for sub sandwiches, chips and poker. No harm in that, honest! And besides, you've been down and out for weeks! It's time you stopped your mopping about! A little fun is just what you need, and a little fun is what we have in mind!"

The look on Heero's face spoke volumes, the expression clearly stating, 'If-I-want-to-mope-, by-God-, I-am-going-to-mope-and-there-isn't-anything-in-this-galaxy-you-or-anyone-can-do-about-it! So-THERE!' 

Fortunately, the young Arabian had a trick or two up his sleeve. He wasn't beat yet, not by a long shot! 

"Did I mention Pepsi, Heero?" purred Quatre knowing full well that his fellow pilot was all but addicted to the potent combination of sugar and caffeine that the sweet soda offered. It was one of Heero's hidden vices and one that the blond youth would never have known about if Heero had not been spending the last six weeks camped out in one of the spare bedrooms. Quatre used this little bit of knowledge unscrupulously to his own advantage now. "Lots of Pepsi, Heero!" The slender boy sang merrily, "I got a couple of cases, so there should be plenty for everyone! And poker! POKER, I tell you! Come on! Let's live a little!" 

Much to Quatre's disappointment, Heero didn't seem totally convinced. (Nuts! Oh well, time to unleash the REALLY underhanded tactics) he thought rolling up mental sleeves.

The blond boy batted his beautiful turquoise eyes at his friend beseechingly and attempted to dazzle the poor boy with a dimpled smile. Now, how unfair was that?

"Please say yes, Heero!" Pleaded Quatre, pining the reluctant teenager to the spot with his most soulful gaze. "Pretty please?" (I got ya now, Heero! No one can resist the infamous 'Puppy Dog Eyes Of Doom!' Bwahahaha!)

It took a good 30 seconds, but finally Heero's resolve dissolved in a little puddle of goo just like a pop cycle on a hot August day. There was really no way to win against such a terrifying attack! With a deep sigh Heero threw his hands up in the air in surrender. There was simply no way he could resist Quatre's patented puppy dog eyes or his beautiful smile. The two of them together proved to be a devastating combination that not even the coldest heart could resist. 

"Okay, okay! I'll be there." 

"Great! Dinner will be served at 8P.M. followed by games and entertainment! Don't be late now, you hear?"

*****

At 7P.M. - give or take ten minuets - the doorbell chimed loudly filling the house with its merry song. All heads in the kitchen rose from their assorted tasks at that sound. The guests had arrived! Since both Quatre and Trowa were busy putting the last finishing touches on the various trays of food, Heero, who had finally managed to snag one of the banged boy's world famous deviled eggs without Quatre smacking his hand with a spatula decided to grab the door. Grinning in triumph, the lithe youngster popped the delightful morsel into his mouth, chewed and swallowed with relish.

"Perfect as always, Trowa!" Heero called as he retreated from the kitchen before Quatre decided to chase him out. "I give you two thumbs up! Way up!"

Trowa smiled and inclined his head graciously. 

The Japanese boy hurried down the hall to the front door sucking the last bit of yellow filling from the tips of his thin fingers. Ah, deviled eggs! Surely one of God's most perfect foods! 

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" 

Heero called out to the as of yet unknown - or at least unconfirmed - visitor as the bell continued its insistent reverberation. From the way the bell was ringing non-stop he was almost positive that their guest was Duo. Smiling softly, the teenager reflected on the fact that each pilot seemed to have their own unique method of announcing their presence from behind closed doors. For instance, Duo leaned on the buzzer until whoever was home gave up and decided to let him in while Quatre rang the doorbell three times in quick succession, paused then rang again. Trowa rang once and ONLY once. And Wufei always knocked... 

Heero palmed the doorknob and pulled the front door open grousing good-naturedly, "Okay, okay! You can lay off the buzzer, Duo..."

The longhaired youth stood on the front porch dressed casually in black jeans and a red polo shirt and was grinning hugely at the pilot of Wing Zero, amethyst eyes burning with life and good humor his arm raised in greeting, but Heero failed to reply or even notice for that matter because standing besides Duo and looking simply as handsome as ever in a black tee shirt and matching jeans was his one time lover, Wufei. 

Heero's heart beat a frantic tattoo at the site of the exotic youth. His first impulse was to throw himself into his lover's arms but instead of following his natural instincts, he frowned impressively, slammed the door shut, then stomped back down the long hallway muttering a slew of choice curses under his breath. 

Duo turned his head to face his co-pilot who mirrored his look of astonishment at such a display of discourtesy. 

"Now, what's eating him?"

Wufei lowered his eyes and nibbled at his bottom lip. The sight of Heero standing at the door with such a happy smile had all but melted his heart, but that had lasted maybe two seconds before the all too familiar rage had driven away that smile to replace it with the ever-present frown. (Are you still mad, Heero? And what, exactly ARE you angry about?)

***** 

"Damn that Quatre!" Mumbled Heero as he stormed into the parlor, flinging himself angrily into an overstuffed recliner "If I had known he had invited Wufei, I wouldn't have agreed to stay in the first place! Puppy dog eyes or no puppy dog eyes!" 

Absently, Heero began to massage his temples with the thumb and middle finger of his right hand. Needing something to relax his stressed mind, he reached for the book resting on the cherry wood coffee table. It was a black hardback copy of "Obsidian Butterfly" by the ancient earth author Laurell K. Hamilton. He had picked this book randomly from the well-stocked bookshelf yesterday afternoon after having lost big time at Monopoly. So far it was an intriguing story. Well written, lots of action, blood, gore, and violence. Heero even found himself identifying with one of the characters in the story, a cold-hearted assassin named Edward...

(A good book is just what I need to unwind!) Heero decided, feeling that he desperately needed some time alone, away from the others, but especially away from Wufei! The delightful image of Wufei standing on the front step with the golden light of the summer evening behind him like some ethereal halo danced through Heero's mind and his heart just about liquefied. He had wanted to fling himself into the Chinese boy's embrace and beg for forgiveness but he had held himself firmly in check. No, he wasn't going to make it that easy for Wufei!

(Why had Quatre invited him?) Heero fumed silently as he rapidly flipped through the pages looking for the spot he had left off at. The slender teenager never bothered with bookmarks, he just tried to remember where in the story he was and hopefully what page. Unfortunately, his mind was swimming in a fog of confusion and he was not really concentrating on reading so he was at a complete loss as to what page or even scene he should be looking for. 

(He knows we broke up... Oh, wait...) 

Prussian blue eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion as he deduced the reasoning behind Quatre's friendly invitation that afternoon. (Why, that little sneak...! I get it now... he's playing at being Matchmaker. Well, it's not going to work! I won't LET it work!)

For six weeks Heero had been carefully building up his own emotional defenses, walls that he had erected layer by painful layer to protect his own shattered heart. It was extremely upsetting that in less than two seconds after actually seeing Wufei those barriers had come crashing down around his ears. All of the pain...the hurt... the sense of betrayal... it had all come flooding back in an instant, dark waters that threatened to drown him, leaving his heart once more raw and exposed. And yet, he still loved Wufei...even after all this time! 

(Damn it, I won't be weak! Not for him!)

Heero settled himself more comfortable in the chair and decided to just start reading at random desperately trying to lose himself in the story, but his mind kept wandering back to Wufei. In his mind's eye he was running his fingers through that thick black hair, gazing into those onyx eyes, ghosting his lips over that gorgeous body... Just the thought of his ex-boyfriend earlier in the day had sent waves of heat coursing through the young man's body. The actual sight of his lover in the flesh had ignited a sudden blazing inferno of lust within his own body that raged out of control, threatening to burn him alive. Heero's face flushed slightly from the extremely naughty images that flashed through his sex starved and very kinky mind. 

For the briefest moment the teenager once again let his mind wander and in his fantasy he was allowed to fling himself into those powerful arms, to lose himself in that wonderful embrace, to take possession of those lips...

(Oh, how I've missed him...)

Suddenly sensing movement from the corner of his eyes, Heero glanced up from his book that he had been pretending to read and scowled when he saw that he had an intruder. 

(Well, speak - or think, apparently - of the Devil and he shall appear...) 

Resolutely, so as the Wufei could not see the flush of pleasure that crept over his face, Heero returned his attention hastily back towards the book propped on his lap determined not to give into his bodily impulses no matter how much the site of that exotic beauty aroused the flames of his passion. No, he had better control than that and he had every intention of giving the other boy the cold shoulder. But despite his unwavering determination Heero was becoming increasingly aware of the weight of his lover's gaze, the scent of his cologne, the soft sound of his movements, smooth and as graceful as any dancer. 

Wufei's heart fluttered in his chest at the air of cold dismissal he received from the boy reclined on the chair. With firm resolve, and a much-needed deep breath, Wufei decided that it was time to get the bottom of things. Wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans, he strolled into the room and circled the chair until he came up behind Heero and with an air of forced nonchalance draped his arms carefully over the other pilot's narrow shoulders and laid his cheek against the crown of his head, dropping a gentle kiss against that silky untamed hair.

(Act casual, yes, that's right, casual...) 

"What are you reading?" Wufei murmured softly. 

Warm, moist air puffing along Heero's skin, raising goose bumps. The boy trembled ever so slightly. Inwardly he groaned in utter frustration, but battled valiantly to retain his stoic composure. He would not give in to his baser instincts, which were screaming for him to hurl himself at the other boy right then and there, to rain frantic kisses upon his magnificent golden body, to make love to him right here and now in the parlor.

The raven haired pilot felt Heero's body stiffen at his touch and Wufei, feeling more than slightly hurt at this reaction, forced himself to continue smiling, to hold up the slipping mask of nonchalance. "I sure have missed you these past six weeks." His voice was light, but uncertain, as if he didn't know if Heero has been missing him. 

Heero's aching heart fluttered, but he forced himself to remain silent. Silence was his only and best defense at that moment for surely if he opened his mouth his true thoughts and feelings would come tumbling forth from behind that barrier he had constructed, and once the dam was breached, the flood of his emotions would surge forth unchecked. If that happened, all would be lost. Better not to say anything, better to remain outwardly frigid, hostile. No matter how much the effort of doing so hurt his heart. And it did hurt. More than it should of, in Heero's personal opinion.

(He doesn't love me!) Heero's mind screamed, (But... I still love him... need him... but it hurts so much! Oh, why does love have to hurt so much? Why does something that makes my heart leap and dance with joy cut my soul into bloody ribbons at the very same moment? Love is nothing but a two-sided sword that ultimately leaves one's heart broken and dying! Who needs it? Not me, no, not me! I can do without all this crap!) 

Wufei watched in shocked silence as slowly but deliberately Heero closed the book with a loud snap, set it down on the oak end table with more force than necessary, rose to his feet with a fluid grace gained from years of training, and stalked from the room without looking back or even speaking a word. Every movement seemed to betray open hostility and contempt. 

"Damn, so much for acting casual." Muttered Wufei under his breath as he hurriedly followed the fleeing Japanese youth into the hallway determined to set matters right.

The slender warrior quickly caught up with his lover, putting a restraining hand on one bony shoulder pulling the other boy to a stop. Whirling around with a small snarl, Heero faced his antagonist, Prussian blue eyes flashing coldly but there was something else in those clear orbs. Some unregistered thought or emotion had flickered across Heero's handsome face, through his eyes, but it was gone even before Wufei could interpret what it had been and even more importantly, what it could possibly mean. 

"What do you want with me, Wufei?" Demanded Heero, eyes narrow and voice cold, so cold. Surely a glacier must have more warmth than that tone in which the Japanese pilot used to address his one time lover. 

"Heero, please..." Wufei began beseechingly his eyes pleading with the other boy, "We need to talk." 

Stubbornly, Heero crossed his arms over his gently defined chest and glared at his ex-boyfriend. "I have nothing to say to you." So saying he turned and started to walk away. 

"Heero, listen to me!"

In frustration, Wufei's hand snaked out quick as lightning, catching hold of Heero's wrist, pulling the startled boy around to face him. Heero shot a glare of scalding anger at the other boy, but Wufei refused to release his grip as he met those burning blue eyes, refused to back down. Things had been going on for far too long, and it was about time he got to the bottom of this...whatever THIS was.

"Heero, you've been deliberately avoiding me for weeks!" Wufei snapped, his tight control of his own emotions slipping dangerously. "Why are you so upset? Please, tell me!" Onyx eyes bore into sapphire ones with burning intensity searching for the answers to the questions that plagued his soul, answers that lay hidden in his love's most secret heart. 

Anger roiled in Heero's guts like acid and he suddenly decided that he had absolutely no intentions of listening to anything the Chinese boy had to say. It was over between them and that was that. It hurt too much to love a man who didn't hold him dear in his heart. The true secrets of Wufei's soul had been revealed as he slept. It was not Heero that Wufei loved but another...

(I can tell him the truth even if HE is not capable of returning the courtesy.)

Heero's gaze locked in fierce combat with Wufei's for several long moments then averting his head with an exasperated sigh, Heero murmured, "I am just so damned tired of having to compete with her for your love!" 

"What? Who are you...? _HER? What are you talking about?" Wufei's head began spinning in confusion. There had never been anyone else in his life other than Heero, except for...no, surely not..._

Watching Wufei's confused face, Heero decided to end this whole ugly situation by cutting to the chase. "I am talking about Meilan, of course!" he snapped, "Your dead wife!" Heero pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as tears threatened. He had always suspected that Wufei still had feelings for Meilan and now watching his lover's face as comprehension dawned he concluded that he had be correct all along. Wufei still loved her! The first of many sobs build up in his chest and there was nothing Heero could do to stop them.

"Heero." Wufei murmured softly, helplessly as he tried to settle his hands on the distraught boy's silently heaving shoulders. Heero shrugged them off in a quick, hard gesture.

"No, Wufei! My heart is not some toy for you to play with, break, and discard at your convenience. This is not a game... at least to me it isn't. And ... I can't do this anymore." A sob ripped noisily through Heero's throat, shattering the tiny remnants of his heart. "Even though she's been gone for years, you still love her!" 

Silence fell heavy in the narrow hall as day turned swiftly into night. Two hearts beat in aching unity, each afraid of what might follow as the two boys stared at each other, their minds at silent war with their hearts. The truth of their painful separation had finally been set out in the open and now it was time to deal with that pain, to either allow their relationship to grow and flourish or to forever let it fall by the wayside. Tears that had formed in Heero's eyes managed to break free and slide silently down his cheeks. He made no effort to wipe them away; he merely stared at Wufei with wounded eyes.

"Yes, Heero, it's true. I still love Meilan." Wufei growled, speaking slowly, enunciating every word, and shuddering as he felt the rage rising in him, hot and dangerous. Angry that Heero was so upset over such a trivial matter, realizing that he was jealous of a ghost, the spirit of his wife, gone these last four years! It was incredible, unbelievable, and yet apparently absolutely true. 

Heero sniffled and swiped at his eyes with the back of one hand. Finally, he had the truth of the matter. Wufei still loved Meilan. But this confirmed knowledge did not make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse than ever before. In despair, he turned his head away from the man who had claimed to love HIM, but not before Wufei had seen the hurt flicker in his eyes. 

"Yeah, I figured as much." With a heavy heart, Heero turned as if to leave. 

"Heero, please! Listen to me!" In desperation, Wufei grabbed his love's shoulders giving the stubborn youth an exasperated shake. 

"I don't want to discuss this anymore!" Heero raged his eyes blazing as he broke away from Wufei with a violent movement and attempted to flee. 

Wufei caught Heero's slender wrist once more from behind and roughly jerked him around, slamming the other teenager against the wall, wincing as he heard the solid thump of Heero's head coming into sharp contact with the wall. Sapphire eyes flew wide open in surprise and confusion at such a violent reaction from his former lover. There was also just a touch of fear as well. Wufei had never hurt him before! Never! 

"Maybe not," Wufei growled, "but we are going to!" 

Heero struggled violently as fear welled up inside of him, chilling him to the bone, dampening the rage that had burned within. With his free fist he began to pummel Wufei's black clad chest, but the Chinese boy easily caught his fist and raising his own arms pinned both of Heero's arms over his head, fingers digging painfully into tender flesh. Fine tremors of fear washed over Heero's body and he was helpless to stop them.

"Let me go!" Heero nearly hissed, strained vainly against Wufei's iron grip. 

"Not until you hear me out!" Snarled Wufei pushing his face towards Heero, close enough so the struggling youth could feel each puff of his warm breath. His voice was scalding, full of angry frustration. "Do you have any idea how I felt when I woke up that morning with you gone? You took all your stuff and simply left, leaving behind nothing but a small note on my pillow saying "Good bye"! There was no reason, no explanation, nothing! You wouldn't return my phone calls, wouldn't talk to or even LOOK at me at the office and you've been avoiding me like I had Bubonic plague for WEEKS!" Wufei paused for a moment, panting slightly then he huffed an exasperated breath. "And now I find out that it was all because you were jealous of a dead woman!" 

Heero turned away his head away from furious black eyes; his eyes clenched tightly, tears sparkling like jewels as they slowly coursed down his cheeks. Wufei's rage dimmed somewhat as he stared at the trembling boy before him. With a heavy sigh, he easily transferred both wrists into his one hand then used his free hand to take Heero by the chin. Gently he tried to turn Heero's face towards him, but Heero struggled to pull away so Wufei's grip increased, his strong digits digging into that pale skin. 

"Please, don't fight me!" 

With a snarl, Heero brought up his right foot and kicked his captor solidly in the shins. Wufei grunted at the sudden pain that flared, but he refused to allow Heero to escape. Instead, the rage that burned just beneath the surface sparked into life once again and without thinking, Wufei balled his hand into a fist and slammed it backhanded across Heero's check hard enough to rock the other boy's face against the wall. The loud smack of flesh on flesh was enough to still Wufei's fist as it rose to strike once again. 

Taking a deep calming breath, Wufei slowly reached out and touched his fingers delicately to the red flower that bloomed high on Heero's wounded cheek. Heero flinched away, which sent daggers of regret into the almond-eyed boy's heart. 

(I can't believe that I struck him in anger! Oh, what is the matter with me! Oh, Heero, what are you doing to me?) 

Wufei brushed his fingertips lightly along his boyfriend's pale skin and when he spoke his voice was filled with unbearable anguish. "I am so sorry, Heero! I love you! You must believe what I say for it IS the truth! Please! _I LOVE YOU!" He voice was raw with emotion, filled with need._

Heero's eyes snapped open burning with such intense rage and he screamed, really screamed, "_Will you stop saying that!" _

Wufei recoiled with a harsh gasp, his face eloquently showing his surprise at this unexpected outburst. 

"But... it's true..." Wufei murmured as he leaned into Heero suddenly and caught those soft defiant lips with his own, kissing the weeping boy with bruising intensity as a burning hunger surged inside of him.

For a moment Heero's struggles renewed, then he relaxed marginally, leaning his thin frame against the man who held him prisoner, shimmering eyes fluttering closed as a wave of intense desire washed over him, through him. There was no defense against such an intense onslaught of sensation. He had ached for Wufei's touch for so long... too long. 

Sensing victory was within his grasp, Wufei slowly loosened his grip on Heero's wrists and allowed the other boy's arms to fall back by his side, though he did not release them completely, not yet. Wufei kissed Heero with wild, violent passion, finally releasing Heero's hands, to plunge his own into that wild mane of silk gathering up fistfuls of that unruly mass, feeling the warmth of skin near Heero's scalp, the corn silk smoothness of each strand. 

Heero strained to keep a firm grip on his anger, but it slid away easily like cotton candy on the tongue. It had been so hard to maintain his distance, his indifference, and his anger over these past few weeks and in the short time Wufei had actually been in Quatre's house, it had been damned near impossible. He had ached for Wufei so desperately, needing him, his love as he had never needed anything, or anyone else before, more than the oxygen rich air that sustained his life! It was like an addiction, a horrible, wonderful addiction. Something totally beyond his control or understanding, and it was this lack of control, this helpless yearning, this urgent need that terrified Heero, set his heart galloping wildly in his chest. He feared these sensations that engulfed him more than anything else in the whole world. So he fought to maintain his sense of rage and indignation, his waning sense of self. But it was so hard, so hard. A tiny moan escaped his lips and Heero hated himself anew for his weakness. 

Encouraged, Wufei allowed his hands drop to the front of Heero's shirt where he began to unhurriedly unfasten the buttons one by one all the while his mouth working, tongue probing, searching for and finally finding that sweet flavor that was Heero's alone as those pliable lips parted to allow Wufei's entrance. Heero's hands come up hesitantly, and he uttered a soft moan of protest, but Wufei pushed both the protest and the hands aside easily, breaking the kiss and leaving the wild haired teen flushed and panting for breath.

With a wicked grin, Wufei lowered his head and ran his tongue over one of Heero's newly exposed nipples, drawing from the Japanese boy a shuddering moan before taking the erect nub of flesh into his mouth and suckling urgently, making soft eager sounds deep in his throat. 

Heero threw his head back against the wall, eyes clenched shut and struggled to suppress yet another moan of arousing passion, his mind screaming, (This is all just a game to him! Are you going to allow him to manipulate you like a pawn on some chessboard?) 

The answer in the foremost part of his brain was, naturally under such mitigating circumstances, YES. He would gladly end his life, sell his soul, anything, anything at all, just to be in his lover's embrace. He wanted Wufei to take him, right here, right now, wanted him to make madly passionate love to him, wanted him to make a lonely soldier feel wanted, needed, loved...Still, a small part of his mind screamed that he should get out now while he still had the chance...

Heero's eyes flew open his breath catching in his throat as he felt an insistent nudge at the fork of his crotch, and then suddenly, one of Wufei's knees were inserted between his partly spread legs, opening them up even farther still. The dizzyingly warm firmness pressing against his erect manhood through the faded denim material was almost too much for the poor boy and once again he strained to suppress yet another breathy moan as the soft metallic purr of a zipper being drawn down was followed by eager hands pushing jeans over narrow hips. 

Heero's hands went to Wufei's shoulders, tightening, fingers digging into flesh, trying to push him away, and failing miserably. He just didn't seem to have the strength. His voice was whisper-soft, his tone breathy, pleading. 

"Please, Wufei, don't...I...I...please, stop..."

Wufei raised his head and regarded Heero for a moment with his own dark, heavy lidded eyes, his face flushed with sexual excitement. New tears were brimming in anxious blue eyes, deep as any ocean, but he efficiently silenced any further objections with urgent kisses, murmuring softly all the while. 

"Shh...It's okay...Hush now...it's all right...I love you..." 

Wufei closed his lips firmly over the teary eyed boy's mouth. One slim, surprisingly cool hand slipped down and quickly eased under the white cotton of Heero's briefs, gripping the warn erect flesh, pumping gently. Heero's whole body convulsed in reaction to that longed for yet dreaded touch. 

(NO! He doesn't love you! He's just using you!) 

Red rage clouded Heero's vision and breaking the kiss with a snarl the young man pulled Wufei abruptly forward by his shoulders while at the same time bringing his knee up with as much force as he could muster, slamming it up into the Chinese boy's crotch. The air in Wufei's lungs went out in a giant woof, obsidian eyes going impossibly large as pain engulfed his whole being. 

"I hate you!" Heero spat, his face twisting into a mask of loathing. 

But the rage in Heero's voice was overmatched by the hurt and confusion that dance in the depths of his eyes. With a sob he tore away from Wufei who slowly doubled over, hot thundering agony assaulting him, a low whine of pain easing past his lips, but still his arm reached out towards the crying boy.

"H-Heero--" His voice was strained, hoarse, filled with pain, pleading.

Heero slowly backed away from the wounded man before him shaking his head in a negative gesture again and again, staring at that partially outstretched hand with something very close to disbelief, and crying harder than ever.

"Leave me alone! You've done enough already!" Another sob broke free followed by another and still another. The upset youth whirled and fled abruptly, the sounds of his footsteps moving away, growing fainter, going, going, gone. 

"_Shit! Shit! Shit!" Wufei swore softly, repeatedly, uselessly, but with plenty of feeling, as he slowly crumpled to the ground, moaning in dull agony, curling into a tight little ball his legs pulled up tight to his chest. Helplessly he rocked back and forth, back and forth, willing the hurting to stop, helpless tears of pain leaking from his clenched eyes._

"Wufei!" The sound of footfalls and then suddenly Quatre, Duo and Trowa were by his side, Quatre pulling the wounded boy in his arms, holding him to his chest as a mother would an upset child needing comfort. The mellow scent of the Arabian's cologne enveloped Wufei as he buried his tear-streaked face into the other boy's chest. Quatre rocked the dark haired youth gently, and for once Wufei allowed himself to be comforted.

Duo gazed down at his friend, "Hey, man, what happened? We heard some sort of ruckus and decided to come investigate. You okay?" 

There was no reply.

"Are you all right, Wufei?" Quatre queried his face and voice filled with concern while Trowa watched the scene with silent troubled eyes. 

"I'm fine," Wufei finally managed to groan sarcastically. "Everything is just bloody fucking wonderful."

*****

Some time later, Heero was in his small room, sprawled on the bed, crying his eyes out. Huddled under the bedclothes, hiding from the world, the ugly scene between him and Wufei kept running through his mind again and again. The harsh words, the anger, and the pain... it all looped through his mind endlessly and would give him no peace. 

(How had things managed to go so wrong? Why? Wufei just doesn't understand how I feel! I will always been second place in his heart! Always!) Once again Heero's mind flashed to the last night he and Wufei had spent together. Wufei had never spoken Heero's name like he had called Meilan's, never uttered his name with such longing, such need, like he was all that mattered in his world... 

Keeping himself at a distance from the one he loved had been the most difficult thing Heero had ever had to do. It had been a struggle to push him away during that kiss, the first physical contact he had had with his lover in weeks. It had almost broken his resolve. Almost. But at the last possible moment, Heero had stood strong, had held his ground. 

"...I still love Meilan." Those words had sent shards of piercing agony into Heero's heart. Why couldn't he simply forget about her? She was dead and gone! It just wasn't fair! He couldn't compete with a ghost, couldn't win against the warm memories Wufei held in his heart. 

(Why can't I be enough for you?) 

Deep down, Heero understood that Meilan's memory was really no threat to him, or to his love for Wufei but his mind could not break past the stubborn barrier of his heart. What he thought and how he felt didn't always concur. This was one of those puzzling realities the Perfect Soldier had to accept upon allowing his feelings their freedom. He knew that he had over reacted to the situation and was now mildly embarrassed but he was too prideful to admit that he had been wrong. 

(And here I had thought that pride was one of Wufei's main faults, his one major character flaw. Well, take a look in the mirror, Heero.)

(I have lost him, driven my only love away. Forever. I am such a...a fool!) This thought tore through Heero's already wounded heart, adding its own pain to the agony that already festered deep inside. 

A sound of soft knocking on his door brought the heart broken youth out of the dark pool of his misery. With a groan, Heero pulled his knees up to his chest and dragged his pillow over his head. (Maybe if I ignore whoever it is, pretend I'm asleep...Maybe they'll get the point and leave me alone...) The knock was not repeated and for some reason, this made Heero's heart ache even more. 

After a few moments, the door creaked open, allowing a thin sliver of light from the hall to illuminate the dark interior of the room. A figure stole into the room, shutting the door carefully behind him so not to disturb the blanket shrouded lump on the bed. Without making the faintest sound, the intruder crept over to the bed and sank down onto the mattress close enough to feel the living heat through the layers of blankets. 

"Heero..." Soft and hesitant, the familiar voice floated through the darkness. There was no answer; then again, Wufei hadn't really expected one. He knew Heero was awake, though; he could tell from the steady rise and fall of the blanket as the teenager breathed. But it was okay if the he refused to acknowledge his presence. It would make what he had to say a whole heck of a lot easier if he didn't have to face his love. 

"I love Meilan." Wufei began, his face downcast, studying the dim outline of his hands, as they lay loosely laced in his lap. "I always have and I always will." The figure under the blankets seemed to tense up at those words, but Wufei continued regardless. "I hold her memory deep in my heart, the same heart where I keep my love for you. She was the one who taught me how to open up and truly express my feelings and even though she's gone, I could never ever forget her." Wufei paused as tears burned in the back of his eyes. Pulling a deep steadying breath into his lungs, he pressed on. 

"Please try to understand... I still love you, Heero, I always have, almost from the first moment that I met you, though I was too stubborn, too foolish to admit it for the longest time. My heart is big enough for both of you, but it is YOU I have now dedicated my life to. " Wufei fell silent and listened to the muffled movements of the boy besides him. 

While Wufei had been pouring his heart out, Heero listened, at first skeptically, then with ever mounting awe. (He loves me; he really, really loves me...) Slowly he lowered both the pillow and the blanket from his face and had turned over to gaze at the other boy with red-rimmed eyes and tear streaked face. Gracefully, he pulled himself upright and regarded the shadowy form of his lover silently for a long moment. 

Heaving a shuddering breath, Heero reached out and placed one palm flat against his love's chest. "Wufei...I...I'm sorry..." A fiery blush crept up his checks and he was grateful for the darkness. It was not an easy thing for the proud Japanese youth to say, but he needed to, felt compelled to. "I was wrong...could you ever forgive me?"

With a glad cry Wufei took the boy into his arms, wrapping his arms around that slender body, his own tears falling from black eyes. Frantically he rained gentle kisses down on the face of his love. "Oh, Heero, Heero, my Heero! I love you so much! I could never bear to lose you! Oh, I am so sorry! For everything!"

Soft hands pressed against Wufei's chest, so warm even through the fabric of his shirt. Heero leaned up and pressed his lips along the fragrant flesh of his love's neck, kissing and nibbling, all the while working his way up towards the sensitive spot below Wufei's ear. Wufei shuddered as warm, moist lips locked over his earlobe and sucked insistently setting the fires of passion blazing throughout his body. Suddenly, those lips withdrew, causing Wufei to moan in disappointment. 

Heero gazed into Wufei's ebony eyes, sapphire eyes full of burning desire; checks flushed a delicate shade of red, as he demanded softly, "Make love to me, Wufei." 

A small tingling thrill shot through Wufei's body at that gentle command and he planted a searing kiss on the boy's forehead and growled, "My pleasure." 

Two hearts beat as one as two bodies joined in joyful union. Soft vows of love were whispered, silent promises made. And when the two lovers strained as one to reach that dizzying plateau of ecstasy, it was Wufei's voice that broke first, calling out Heero's name again and again in tones of complete longing, of total need and Heero knew that he mattered more than anything in the world to his bronzed lover. And this newfound knowledge was more than enough to ease away any doubts that may have lingered in his heart and mind. 

He was needed, wanted, cherished, and loved.

And it was enough.

THE END 


End file.
